Thank you for this writing and sharing this beautiful Valentine to your uncle. The world is a very ugly place right now and I so appreciate this reminder that beauty still exists. I am so moved. Thank you.
111
People ..People who love People ..are the ..LUCKIEST PEOPLE .. IN THE WORLD
78
Beautiful!
30
gorgeous, thank you
23
Such a beautiful piece and homage. Moved me to my core, as I am now the uncle. I stared at the black screen at the end for a while, thinking about the beautiful story I just heard. Thank you.
44
Magnificent and moving. May you be so honored by those who come after you.
39
Your uncle had a rich and joyous life. Thank you so much for sharing, especially during this time when it feels like the world is falling apart. We must embrace every day of life.
38
Love in its purest form: transcending time and space, without strings attached, between two human beings that share similar interests and part of their life together.
Some people say artists are regular people with extraordinary sensibilities. In this case I can wholeheartedly agree. Diego Braga shows his artistic vein and delivers a wonderful gift from the future to the past, from a nephew to his uncle, from a human being to another.
38
The spoken Portuguese is gorgeous and gives the story a richer dimension.
55
You honor your Uncle so beautifully .. .he would be so proud of you.
41
Stunning, Beautiful, Unforgettable. Thank you.
29
This was so beautiful, that I sit here stunned several minutes after listening. I will go back and listen again and will use your words as a mantra to get through these hard days. Obrigodo do fondo do meu coração.
54
@Diane McGrath you are welcome. Thank you for your words and for using my words as a mantra. Now these words are yours too. Much love to you.
57
Lovely. Thank you.
20
May his memory be for a blessing...
Wait, it is...
22
This is such a beautiful tribute and homage to his uncle --and to a whole way of life. Gracias, Diego.... muy linda.
22
I love everything about this story except for the usage of the word “queer”. Ricardo was gay and he clearly identified as such. I still have no idea what “queer” means. The few people I know who use this term to identify themselves are perfectly ordinary heterosexuals. They might not want to be labeled as heterosexuals because in the modern progressive culture that’s seen as somehow unhip and uncool. But using a meaningless pretender term “queer” only cheapens and devalues the experience of lesbian, gay and bisexual people.
32
@Axel Queer is most certainly not a pretender term. It was a pejorative that many but not all LGBTQ+ choose to use as an umbrella term. It isn't hard to find many articles debating the use of 'queer'. Words matter, how they were used and are now used matters. While many gay men may not use the word there are many in the gay community who do.
32
@Axel "Queer" has been reclaimed by the community. It now means , more or less, "non-heterosexual"; it is neither defiant (although it can be) nor passive. It describes the entire LGBT+ community now. In a way, the modern use derives from the protest cheer "I'm here, I'm queer, get used to it!"
35
The previous commenters who describe it as a catch-all/umbrella for anyone who is not cis-het are correct. I certainly prefer using it to saying I'm LGBTQ+ or going by my full descriptor (transgender, demisexual, panromantic), which certainly gets a touch cumbersome!
21
Love is love. Diego's Uncle Ricardo was blessed with vast amounts of it and left a beautiful legacy to his nephew who in turn has shared it generously with us making some of us all feel a better about how wonderful humanity can be. Thank you Diego.
19
Thank you, Diego, for such a beautiful memory of your dear uncle. And thank you to the New York Times for presenting this.
29
Obrigado. Thank you. A beautiful piece.
15
Muchos/muchas gracias, Diego. Hermoso/hermosa y inspirador/inspiradora.
9
This was beautiful. I am very touched. Thank you.
14
What a lovely intermission on this grey Tuesday.
22
All too often I see young writers use the word "queer" to describe gay men or lesbians. It's important to note that only 6% of LGBTQ people refer to themselfs as "queer". Studies show they are overwhelmingly young, female and cig gender and the "queer" they use to describe themselves does not necessarily refer to a same sex attraction. "Nearly 6 percent of sexual minorities self-identify as queer, and 98 percent of queer people are younger than 45." - UCLA Study
20
@D'Shawn A large percentage of young "queer" Gen Z people appear to be women who are in heterosexual relationships; I'm guessing they have never had same-sex relationships and their queerness is somewhat speculative. I assume that they are doing this partly to be on the "right" side with their peer groups, as opposed to being stuck on the "bad" side of the cisgender hetero white patriarchy.
19
Beautiful
10
Beautiful.
9
That was so touching. Sounds like a rich, full, generous life. Thanks for sharing.
14
I weep because his tears are my tears; our cheeks burn with sorrowful happiness.
11
@PDR that's lovely to read. Thank you for watching.
11
a beautiful remembrance of a great man...
8
Thank you so much. .your gorgeous tribute to your beloved uncle has touched my heart.
my brother, Richard, passed from AIDS in 1986, he was much loved by his then, 4 year old niece,Nicole,and of course all of the family.
They are angels in the grand disco in the ethers,loving us still, watching over us,always.🙏❤❤
34
@Suzanne thank you for this beautiful message about your Richard. Hope Richard and Ricardo can dance together and celebrate their legacies. Much love to you
18
Your uncle would love that his gift opened up sharing more gay experiences, as I've read in the comments to this story.
14
Thank you, Diego!
You made my day...
8
Lovely. You have been blessed and you share it with us. Thank you.
8
Beautiful film and tribute. Thanks for sharing Ricardo’s Geography of Love. Such a gift of inspiration to looking forward!
12
Beautiful story. My grandmother had a 'bachelor uncle' who brought her gifts from his far-flung travels who regaled her with tales and showed her loving respect. I think this is why gay marriage passed as swiftly as it did once the ball got moving...most families have a beloved spinster aunt or bachelor uncle who everyone understood, but didn't call out. Peace to you and your family.
53
@SM thank you for watching and peace to you and your family too.
11
@SM
I'd even take this a step further. As a proudly gay male (and a lifelong activist), I've struggled all my life (at age 72) to advance the proposition that there's nothing "queer" about same-sex attraction.
A movement focused on personal freedom (at a time when there were "sodomy" laws) is now obsessed with fetishizing (self-)marginalization.
This isn't about "assimilation"; it's about inclusion. Get used to it -- and think about the beautiful future ahead!
10
This is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it, and your uncle, with us.
7
No greater tribute than to honor your cherished uncle by sharing his and your memories with the world in such a poignant way. I cannot imagine that in his wildest imagination would he think that the little box of papers that meant so much to him would be transformed into this gorgeous short film for us to experience. At first glance, it seemed he left so little, all his inheritance in a plastic box, yet through your work we see a life lived richly and on his own terms, a lesson for us all. A life well lived and well shared. Thank you, Diego, for the privilege of meeting your uncle in such a personal, meaningful way.
45
@A citizen thank you for your words. So moving... and thank you for watching.
13
Thanks for sharing this beautiful story and video. Speaking as a Gay man whose been a Godfather to many friends' kids, it's an honor to be entrusted with that role. Seeing them grow up to become the men and women they now are was humbling and comprise some of my most cherished memories.
It's lovely to learn of the positive influence Ricardo had on his nephew Diego. I'd like to think that perhaps his Uncle knows and is touched by how special he was to him.
I don't know if there's an afterlife, but I do believe that the one afterlife any of us gets is in how people speak of us after we pass on. It seems that Diego's remembrances of his Uncle will keep him alive for a long time tocome.
30
@Michael BC thank you for your lovely words and for been a Godfather for many kids. Thank you for your time.
9
Beautiful.
6
Your uncle was a great guy. You are a success artist. I have no interest in his or your sexuality. We’re all one, and labels divide us.
13
@Joe Montana Respectfully, you miss the point. Ricardo and Diego cannot be from their sexuality distanced. It is who they are as yours is who you are.
13
@Joe Montana Is it the label to which you object, or the sexuality itself? How could this story possibly have been told without acknowledging Ricardo's sexuality? Do you object to all labels, and if so how do you distinguish between a label and a descriptor? We are all one in our shared humanity, but we are not all the same.
10
You have stopped me in my tracks. I too had a childhood enriched, enabled; enjoyed through the my beloved uncle. His homosexuality was incidental to our relationship but also enhanced by it. Tragically lost to HIV too young in 1994. I carry the beautiful life because of him. Thank you for allowing me to meditate on that less privately and for sharing your beautiful Ricardo with us.
29
@Rebecca M thank you for sharing also your love story with your uncle. Thank you for watching.
8
Think of the beautiful future…
We all need to hear this!
13
What a loving tribute to a beautiful life. His uncle left behind the riches of a life well lived - a box of memories, exchanges, travels and experiences, immaterial goods that mean so much more than material ones.
13
Beautiful and uplifting. Thank you for sharing this. So much love and joy in your family.
8
@Gene Emmons Not having children is not a loss; it is a choice or an accident--whether one is gay or straight. And do you think that many straight, married uncles with children are able or inclined to look after and inspire their nephews (and nieces) so much? (Not to mention host parties until dawn, travel the world, and acquire a coterie of friends from all walks of life?)
No one is pushing an agenda here. It's a work of art about a beautiful relationship and a life well lived--and a reminder that, no matter how dark life might seem or get, people have the strength and capacity to envisage and (hopefully) realize a better future.
40
@Gene Emmons - It may seem that way to you, but not to those of us who are sensitive to the pain, violence and rejection that gays are and have been subjected to throughout history.
This is the same for blacks.
8
@Gene Emmons If you need reinforcement of heterosexual ideals please feel free to watch pretty much any media from before 2010 or something. The heterosexual lifestyle is not hurting for media advocates. That something is touching and beautiful doesn't mean that it's claiming to be "better". This was someones life, their story has as much a right to be told as any other. Why does it matter that a similar story could be told from the perspective of a heterosexual? The fact is, that this particualar human was not. Why can't you just appreciate that there are variations in the human condition. Some peope may prefer to be the guncle(gay uncle) and not a father. Some people may not want to deal with children under any circumstances. Why the need to impose a "loss" on others?
14
So beautiful, I am in tears.
16
Beautiful story and moving film.
9
Just as it was bleak in the midst of the Brazilian years of dictatorship and the AIDS plague, so it is now. A lesson for the future from the past. Thank you, Diego, and Riccardo. I need that hope right now.
22
You were blessed with a beautiful family and we’re given a loving legacy. I’m so happy you had that. And I’m proud of you for carrying that legacy forward. Cheers and blessings to you.
13
@David Garrett Izzo
Oh to live in a future world where sexual preference recedes into the back, with other private matters.
There is a despicable tyranny about 'straight' men. The gay community leaves no stone unturned to find the hidden closet - to mix metaphors.
Death is no escape - public figures dead for years decades or centuries get a work-over that is somehow deemed worthy of consideration and serious discussion.
And private nobodies are hounded after death "he MUST have been closeted" -- because he divorced and did not remarry, or took annual trips with dear male friends, or lord knows what.
What baffles me is that I hear no discussion of how one-dimensional these distortions are.
How is obsessively putting your sexuality forward as the essence of self any more balanced than the gay men of the 60's 70's and 80's who successfully had a core identity - understood and accepted by many - oblivious to most, and reviled by some - and got on with life.
Not that going back is the answer - just saying from the cheap seats the pendulum swing seems woeful and harmful.
7
As far back as the 1970s, I told people to expect relatively swift action in the removal of restrictions on the civil rights of America's gay people. This article illustrates exactly why I made that prediction. Everyone has gay people in their family. That's a stronger far bond than "Some of my best friends are..."
https://emcphd.wordpress.com
23
Of course that should read "far stronger." One day I will learn my lesson about posting before coffee...
https://emcphd.wordpress.com
7
I love this.
Thank you.
9
Beautiful.
8
Obrigado!
7
Well that was incredible. Hey NYT - More of this please.
23
Yesterday, it was Blow and his true confessions which was actually very well written and moving and helpful.
Today its a filmmaker. Is the New York Times becoming a "True Stories" type magazine?
2
from an old straight homophobe for most of my life, thank you
13
Ricardo....everyone has already written what I think and feel. Te mando un abrazo fuerte fuerte; qué hermoso lo que creaste.
6
A beautiful story. Thanks for sharing the legacy of your uncle Ricardo.
My long term partner, Kent, left a legacy to me that I don't think he would have ever imagined. In 1999 Kent and myself went through an adult adoption as we had no rights at that time. Legally I became his son and I changed my last name to include his last name.
Kent had little connection to his biological family as his brothers were cruel to him for being gay. He did keep in touch with his older sister. Kent's nephew and his wife are accepting and loving LBGTQIA+ people but Kent did not know this so he distanced himself from them.
Kent died suddenly in 2006. His nephew and wife attended the service. His nephew's wife put her arms around me and told me "you are a Brooks and you are stuck with us". I did not think much of it at the time.
Fifteen years later I am very close to the Brooks family. I have met someone and married. The Brooks family embraced my husband with open arms and hearts.
Kent's sister is 101 and my husband and myself visit her weekly. Kent had promised to take care of her. He probably never thought it would be through me years after he died.
Kent's great niece had a son last year. She named him Kent Michael in honor of her great uncle Kent and uncle Michael who were both gay. Kent would have never thought a child would have been named after him.
Kent left a beautiful legacy that I am grateful for every day.
148
heartwarming and touching. this is what life is all about.
9
@Joseph
Beautiful. "I'm not crying; you're crying."
6
You are a tribute to your Uncle. Congratulations!
13
Such heart and soul! Thank you for this beautiful piece. The Geography of Love rests in my heart.
10
Beautiful presentation; two beautiful souls. Thank you
11
I was very touched by this photo essay. Thank you for sharing about your uncle and your family. There is a lot of love within your family and among the gay community in the essay. I hope the future is brighter too. And the home parties definitely made me jealous and made me feel that the parties I have been to/hosted are too tame and boring!! Thank you again!
15
What a beautiful tribute! Thanks for sharing a piece of your history with us. Yes, let us heed his important message and think of the beautiful future ahead! All our lives our precious, our loved ones important, and we all have the responsibility to make sure each of us is allowed to live to our fullest potential!
8
Beautiful! Thank you for sharing him with all of us. Loved the video photo essay. I felt the love you and your family have for each other, what a powerful gift you all have!
16
Thank you so very much for sharing your family story of hope, joy, and the celebration of life’s riches. I loved listening to your voice, measured and full of love for your beautiful uncle and the legacy he left you. He taught you to live an authentic life, and you honor him by being the person you are today.
5
Beautiful story and beautiful storytelling. Thank you.
10
That was so emotionally beautiful, albeit sad too. What a great family! But it also reminds me of why I love Brazil and the Brazilians. They can love so easily and enjoy life, even while facing tremendous challenges. After all, when considering the specter of Death, isn’t that what really matters?
Obrigado!
26
Thank you for sharing his, and your, beautiful life. It’s so important to be reminded that the capacity to love beyond yourself is what creates a future for others.
12
Beautiful start to an otherwise gray day. I love this. Thank you.
21
I hope my 9 nieces and nephews will remember me with such love, a true universal gift we all deserve and want while on earth and beyond. I'm straight yet feel so much like Uncle Ricardo in his loving relationship with his nephew and relate to his wish to leave his memories behind for him to always cherish. I hope my nieces and nephews will remember me as the writer remembers Uncle Ricardo.
25
What a heartbreakingly beautiful memory, thank you for sharing
10
The beauty of this testimonial to a life well lived is only matched by all of the wonderful, positive comments. Today, I am walking on air. Obrigado!
11
Thank you so much.
8
Thank you Diego Bragà.
10
Obrigado ❤️
8
Maravillosa historia
7
Beautiful
8
Beautiful
6
My Black African American South Side Chicago Lesbian Gay Transgender Bi-Sexual Queer blood relative family members never had the luxury nor the choice to remain hidden in any 'closet'.
Although the homophobia of the Black Christian Church lurked around them, their pews were full of women and their auxiliary organizations who were the base of the misogynist patriarchal male clergy.
Ignoring the stereotyped 'gay' choir director and lead singer's gospel moving and rocking praising the Lord was essential to collecting the first gross tenth tithes outside of Christmas, Easter and Mother's Day Services.
Being gay 'effeminate' male was hidden behind the euphemism of being educated and sophisticated. But being lesbian 'butch' female was basically ignored.
However, some among the congregation chose to love their LGBTQ family and friends while praying that they be 'cured' and forgiven.
Indeed, there were a few all Black LGTBQ pastor clergy led congregations on the South Side.
21
Saudaude. Belo. Obrigado
5
The word 'queer' always makes me recoil- feels we're being forced to 'reclaim' it against our will (& it doesn't always mean anything about sexual orientation).
24
@M I've struggled with this too. I've decided to read it as "different." That feels right.
3
@Flaminia
who isn't 'different?'
3
@M
@SM
I'd take this a step further. As a proudly gay male (and a lifelong activist), I've struggled all my life (at age 72) to advance the proposition that there's nothing "queer" about same-sex attraction.
A movement focused on personal freedom (at a time when there were "sodomy" laws) is now obsessed with fetishizing (self-)marginalization.
This isn't about "assimilation"; it's about inclusion. Get used to it -- and think about the beautiful future ahead!
1
We have come a long way since 1975 when I was 25. In that year I renewed a friendship with a high school pal I had not seen in seven years. He had been in the Air Force. avoiding Vietnam.
We had been very close in the "old days" (1968), sharing an intellectual bent unfulfilled otherwise by fellow students.
In 1975 he shared with me that in the Air Force he discovered that he was Gay: 1: I didn't give a damn; 2, I didn't get it that other people would. All I knew was that we could converse on current events (movies, music) in a way that no other duo could)
(Full disclosure: I am not gay.)
We decided for the sake of economic necessity to become roommates in Kew Gardens, NYC. I got a job and hired him to work with me. All was good until... I realized that our roommates meant an assumption that I was also gay because a straight man would not choose to live platonically with a Gay man, The naysayers included my brother. I still didn't give a damn.
Fast forward: I would publish books and essays about Gay authors: W.H. Auden, Christopher Isherwood, Thornton Wilder, et al. (You can look it up.) This predilection seemed to wonder if I had been Gay in a past life.
And you know what? I still didn't give damn.
210
@David Garrett Izzo Thanks for sharing. I live in a conservative part of the country and some people really do believe that you can catch gay, i.e. spending too much time with gay people will influence you to be gay. It's so ridiculous, laughable, and sad to me that they think this way. Just treat people the way you want to be treated. People are people.
31
Beautiful. What a gift to your uncle and others
9
Thank you. This is a gift.
6
This will happily consume my thoughts all day.
11
Well, that was beautiful.....my day has begun.
9
Seeing this made my morning. Thanks for publishing it.
7
A perfect gift for a cold snowy morning when we all need something beautiful in the future. Thank you for sharing this with us.
8
Love is, too often, an act of courage. Thanking you for sharing this valorous life with us.
47
Ricardo left a beautiful box of memories to show that the beautiful future exists. What a beautiful memorial to Ricardo and to Love. I am truly deeply touched. Kim (he/him)
21
So beautiful and touching. Your inheritance is rich in meaning and purpose.
Thank you for sharing.
28
Beautiful. Ricardo lives on to show us of the beauty of love, family, and the power of place, across generations, across continents.
Thank you.
22
What a lovely and touching way to begin my day. Thank you.
39
This is an essay that I truly wish millions would read. I am an 80 year-old gay man, happily married thanks to the U. S. Supreme Court after living together prior to that for over twenty years, and have never experienced any discrimination, at least overly. I was a high school English teacher and then an adjunct at Miami Dade College where I experienced only friendliness from my students. But I know that just isn't the case for so many gay/queer people. Thankfully I have lived long enough to experience that students today have openly gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgender/queer teachers and know of many others who fall into that all-inclusive category. And today there she is, a "Jeopardy!" champion, Amy Schneider. We have come a long way.
128
Thank you for sharing this intimate part of you. What a beautiful outlook on life & a beautiful tribute.
30
Inspired and inspiring. Thank you!
24
Thank you for sharing across us this inheritance of true love. Your invitation to think of the beautiful future ahead is a blessing and soft salve to my souls and every cell.
26
Thank you Diego, and thank you NYT for publishing. To keep picturing and concentrating on a beautiful, inclusive future is perhaps the only way we'll get there - together.
90
Thank you for sharing your poignant story with us. Your uncle and your family are remarkable people and am so grateful you were able to make this documentary.
28
This is so poignant and heartfelt. Thank you, Diego, for sharing these precious memories. It must bring you much comfort knowing how deeply Ricardo loved and was loved.
51
What a wonderful gift he left you. You were blessed to have a positive role model. Gays in my family are treated as an embarrassment and told to hide or leave. I'm the second generation that I know has been rejected for being gay. Mother and Sister have not spoken to me in 12 years since coming out.
132
@stavros One day they may come round. I hope you are surrounded by great people. Whether you would accept that is another matter. Finding your own peace may be of value though.
10
I am very sorry! It’s very cruel. I am many others love you very much.
22
Only a creative and sensitive soul could take a box of memorabilia and explode it into a moving documentation of love and family.
169
So deeply meaningful. Beautiful.
55
Thank you most sincerely Diego. Truly literate and gorgeous visual poems are rare trophies, as the parrot slung over the shoulder of the quiet hunter. Slipping into the green.
45
What a beautiful tribute you have created! The gifts you have received from your uncle flow through you, and out into the world again through your art, your words, and the fabulous energy you radiate. Thank you SO much for embracing his legacy and sharing it with us.
98
Oh, to try to understand a man who loved everyone and proof in his belongings, his cards, everyone he knew loved him, too.
We should all be so fortunate to have such a gift. Thank you for sharing.
191
A very nice gift. Beautiful pictures from a life well lived.
89